There is one thing that people have that many others wish they could have. This thing is often held temporarily for part of somebody’s life and can even be transferred by someone’s will when large amounts of money and real estate are involved. People go to school for years and years to achieve this signal of social significance and some people even bend their values in order to proclaim themselves with this title. This desirable item is called success.
Many people have ventured out in order to achieve success on their own. The truth of that matter is that nobody can achieve success by themselves. Success is dependent on other people and there is no example that can prove this statement wrong. A rap star only has their fame from all the fans that support them by buying concert tickets and merchandise. A restaurant only becomes successful when the public supports them by purchasing their food. Any establishment that makes money does so from the general population which can be looked at as support from other people.
There is an old saying that states; the cream rises to the top. This statement can be applied to life in a very significant way. Since success is dependent on the support of other people and their lifting of that person striving for success, certain behaviors can make that person “easier to lift.” The lighter someone is to lift, the less amount of work it will take to lift them to the top. Here are 6 steps to becoming “lighter.”
1. Develop conversation generosity – conversation generosity is letting the other person talk. When people first meet, it is often a struggle to find a balance between too much talking and not enough. Talking too much makes someone come off as pushy and abrasive whereas not talking enough portrays someone with little confidence or possibly even dislike of the person talking. Conversation generosity encourages other people to talk about themselves. When you meet someone for the first time, allowing them to talk about themselves a lot with affirmations coming from your end, a positive opinion of you will formulate in their mind. Eventually they will run out of things to talk about and start getting curious about you. This curiosity will be driven by the positive opinion they have already formed about you.
2. Learn to accommodate others’ communication styles – It is very important to understand that every person and every interaction is different. Where a ton of talking is appropriate in some interactions, sometimes it is best to be quiet at times during a conversation. A person who naturally is very talkative may have to switch up their communication style by being quiet when conversing with someone who is more quiet and reserved. Many people refer to this as being “fake” but one approach to dealing with the diverse population that occupies the world is a recipe for failure. Employing tact and thinking before you speak is a favorable behavior when seen by others.
3. Do more work than you are paid for – Doing more work than paid for is not a behavior that many people actively engage in on a daily basis. Many work settings have employees that complain about how they do not get paid enough for the work that they already do. Many people see this as complaining, especially the boss that overhears the conversation. Complaining is something that many people do themselves but listening to someone complaining does not form a favorable opinion about that individual. Everybody has struggles and issues in their lives that they do not vocalize. When they observe someone going around placing the burden of their problems on other people, the typical conclusion is to just steer clear and not get involved. Doing more work than you are paid for sets you up for higher achievement levels and for the superiors to notice that you stick out.
4. Be assertive – There are 3 types of behaviors that people can exhibit. There are aggressive behaviors, passive behaviors and assertive behaviors. Being aggressive involves sacrificing the needs of others in order to gain personal wants or needs. These people are seen as steam rollers and bullies. Being passive involves giving up your own needs to meet those of others. These people are seen as doormats or pushovers. Assertive behavior is meeting your needs and then helping others. Learn to say no when it is appropriate. If you have a commitment at 5:30 and your friend wants to go out to eat a 6:00, saying no to your friend is necessary. Being assertive ensures that you get everything you need and then you can help people so that they may form a favorable opinion about you.
5. Convey self-respect – There is a generalization that many people make every day. If you cannot respect yourself, than you are incapable of respecting others. Many people pick up on signs of lack of self-respect. Even if they are not right about these judgments, it still happens in their mind and they do side with those judgments internally. These judgments affect you by the decisions they make that involve you. Make sure that your attire and grooming is up to standards with that of your profession. If you do not meet the standard code of dressing at your job, people can see that as you do not respect your job or even yourself to make it so that you look good at your job. This can transfer over into a generalization that lack of self-respect means the inability to respect others. This is not right or fair but then again, the world is not a fair place.
6. Show people with actions – Anybody can say they are going to do something, but then again most people have learned throughout their lives that talk is cheap. Learn to show people things by the actions that you portray. A person is defined by their actions, not their words. People will notice things that you accomplish but they will most likely forget entirely what you tell them you “plan” to do. Show people with your actions and they will see you as someone who can get things done without stopping and bragging to everybody before you have achieved anything. This leads to a favorable formed about you.
The main idea is that as more people develop a favorable opinion about you, you will become lighter and easier to lift to success. Success is dependent on the support of other people and people with a positive opinion about you will be more likely to support you. All of these steps will help you transform your image and start leading you to a successful spot in your career choice. It may be a scary thing to change your style of interaction with people but if that gets you to a better place, isn’t fighting that fear worth it?
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